eide: a knitted mesh (Default)
[personal profile] eide
Today was slightly odd (and interesting) because someone who we thought already knew that we're multiple and in the same system as [livejournal.com profile] judiff just worked it out. (I'm not planning to identify them in a public post but they are someone i feel entirely comfortable being out to)
It's made me think about whether i should be more out about it. The obvious worry is that people will think i/we are mad because we're plural (or as a lot of people will say because we "feel like/think" we're plural*). But we are mad - the full signed of work indefinitely/on DLA/having a lots of interesting diagnosis etc mental and it's hardly a secret. So does it mater what people think?
As far as any of us can tell being multiple is one of the least mad things about us. It's just a thing that is - like having straight hair or needing glasses. I think (for us if not for other systems) it has something to do with the spectrumness and central coherence etc but i'm not sure it matters where it comes from so much as that it's part where we are now.

A lot of people get plurality wrong. A lot of people prolly would discount us because of it. It's different somehow to more respectable types of mad like depression or PTSD. And it's not like we yet another reason to not fit in/be seen as weird.
Even people who say they get it don't always actually seem to.

Having to hide any part of your life is always spoon-depleting and difficult.

I'd like a safe way to test the waters a bit around people's attitudes but i can't think of a workable way to do that.


* like people have said about our PVFS/chronic fatigue and way back even about our dyslexia

Date: January 15th, 2010 06:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] duranorak.livejournal.com
♥ I'm glad you're comfortable being out to me; it's made me think a lot about this whole thing, too. It's even harder to explain soulbonding to people; it's not in a textbook anywhere and it sounds just that bit more mental to say 'Harry Potter lives in my head' than 'I'm multiple' \o/ But you're right, in the Normal Person Order of Mad it definitely all rates weirder than depression or PTSD, and I don't really know why.

I don't know how to test the waters, but I do know you'll always be safe talking about it with me, and now I know I'll always be safe talking about it with you, and that's a really amazing thing to me. Even more amazing, there are all these people who read this journal of yours, and some of them are people I know, and thinking they might also not laugh me out of events for how I live my life is just...I don't even have a way to process that yet.

I kind of wish we were all more out about it, because it's one of the most tiring things of all to hide, I think. Anyway, sorry, further rambling~ But I'm so sorry I didn't know, and I'm so glad to now. xxx

Date: January 15th, 2010 08:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bunnypip.livejournal.com
even though I only have depression/anxiety/PTSD/OCD I still find it odd when people are uncomfortable with me refering to myself as mad or crazy. It's strange. If people used the words more then they would stop being so scarey and embarassing.

Date: January 15th, 2010 12:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] duranorak.livejournal.com
Do you want a general introduction to us, by the way? Would it help? I only ask because I'm likely to be able to be far more brief about it than she is; you're not obliged to be curious.

-B
(One of many, but I've been here the longest.)

Date: January 16th, 2010 12:04 am (UTC)
judiff: bunny tcon that ruis made (Default)
From: [personal profile] judiff
that would be cool if you've like got the time

Date: January 16th, 2010 06:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] duranorak.livejournal.com
As you know, she's not multiple; she just finds us, or we find her - sometimes it's hard to tell which. There have been ever so many people here over the years, and listing them all would be both overwhelming and pointless, so I'll just break down who lives here now.

Most of them are musicians; there's a drummer, two bassists, two singer-songwriters, whatever this is, and the entirety of three Korean boybands or something similar - there are 24 of those in total, so I won't bother talking about them individually unless one of you is particularly curious.

Four wizards (of which I'm one), three vampires, two ghosts (both of sociopathic revolutionary schoolboys, although I think that's just coincidence), three members of US law enforcement, two actors, one superhero, a fire-eater, a librarian, two people from Firefly, and two people from a Japanese manga that's probably best left unexplained.

If we have anything in common with each other it's that we're all survivors, most of us of things that could easily have destroyed us; everyone's story is long, and she worries a great deal about being boring, so I shan't go into anything unless you'd like us to. She helps us by giving us somewhere to go that's safe, and we help her by keeping her safe in return. I don't think it functions too differently from actual multiplicity - it's just that none of us were ever part of her.

-B

Date: January 16th, 2010 06:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] duranorak.livejournal.com
I made him stop writing because I can't imagine why anybody would even want to read that much, let alone more, but I'm always happy to explain people or things, I just find it hard to stop. *s* So if anyone wanted to ask anything it would be more than welcome, it's just that I don't expect anyone to be interested. xxx

Date: January 21st, 2010 12:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] duranorak.livejournal.com
I'm a soulbonder, and they're all fictional characters or alternate-universe versions of people in this world :) I think we pretty much always define 'multiple' as 'more than one personality split from the same source' - not necessarily with dissociation, just that all the personalities come from within the original host, and that's not how it is with us. I just read stuff or watch stuff and then they're like, hi, here are my problems and here is all my luggage, and I'm like, oh god, here we go again :x

I like talking about how it works for us, so I'm always happy to field questions (Blaise is asleep right now and I'm awake, so figured I'd answer for him)~

Date: January 16th, 2010 12:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] memevector.livejournal.com
I'd like a safe way to test the waters a bit around people's attitudes but i can't think of a workable way to do that.

Well when people are coming out as gay sometimes they will talk abstractly about gay people and see what they get back... although it doesn't always "give accurate readings" because sometimes if people don't think you're gay they will be rude whereas if you say "I'm gay" then they'll be more careful because it's you. sort of thing.

So anyway maybe one way for sounding out people who are online would be to link from the "not out" LJ to a site like this:

http://www.karitas.net/blackbirds/layman/whatis.html

with some kind of open question/statement like "I was looking at this"

and see what comments you got

(but probably best to do a friends-locked post beforehand reminding people that it's a "not out" LJ, so as to warn them to remember and not start talking in public about your people!)

Coming out is tricky though. You never really know what response you're going to get until you're actually out and then you can't go back in!

so I'm not saying this is really the answer, it's just one possibility I thought of.

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